


Forgive My Humanity

by Correctmissme



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Bees?, Cinnamon Roll Xisuma, Loneliness, Longing, M/M, Pining, self-forgiveness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23439868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Correctmissme/pseuds/Correctmissme
Summary: X gets some work done on his Season 7 base, and reflects on his feelings of lonesomeness.
Relationships: Xisuma/Grian
Comments: 3
Kudos: 165





	Forgive My Humanity

The subtle buzzing of bees was heard through the thick foliage of the jungle. Xisuma quickly wiped his brow to clear the heavy drops of perspiration that had formed there, a result of the clinging humidity and vigorous work he had been doing. Deftly replacing his helmet, his eyes found the deepening orange streaks across the sky and tracked the sun as it gingerly dipped behind the jungle trees. Here at his base, he felt a calmness settle in him that replaced some of the stress and worry that nagged at him as the admin of the server. It’s true that while the troubles with the new server were few and far between after sorting through the initial issues presented within the first few days, X felt the pressure to keep his friends from disappointment. He took his responsibility very personally. No one had to look far to see the pride he took in the server, and in his friends with their passion for creation.  
The sun was sinking lower and X began to tidy the area where he had been working and organizing his resources. Smiling softly as a bumblebee passed by on its way back to the hive he had made, he knelt down and asked, “How do you fly around on those tiny wings, little friend? They’re not even half as big as you are!” The bee gave no response, only continuing on its clumsy flight, determined to bring back the nectar it collected along with the pollen stuck to it furry legs. X watched it until it found its fumbling way into the dense vines.  
X straightened and gathered his last few shulker boxes to set out for his living quarters. Arriving at his bedroom, X paused for a moment in the doorway. He surveyed the room with scrutinizing eyes. A bedroom built for one. He didn’t know why he was so acutely aware of his lonesomeness today. It seemed to come and go, but today it had stuck with him like a burr on a cat’s coat. He reminded himself, like he always did, of the reasons why he shouldn’t feel lonely. Wasn’t he surrounded by his friends? Wouldn’t any one of them welcome him with open arms and gladly provide company to fill his day with laughter? He mused these things to himself while sorting items from his inventory into his storage. He knew they were true, but the knowledge couldn’t keep his heart from insisting it wanted more. More than friendship. He realized this was a very human need he possessed, and decided with finality that there was nothing wrong with that. After all, we must all forgive ourselves for being human.  
X’s hand stilled as he pulled some extra white concrete from the shulker box he was rifling through. His thoughts drifted, unbidden, to a particular Hermit with golden brown hair and an infectious smile. Grian. X quickly placed the concrete away and sat down on his bed. “There’s no reason concrete should make me think of him. Plenty of people use it,” he reasoned, perhaps a bit too insistently. But it did remind him of Grian, and X kicked off his boots and stretched out on his bed as recalled the reasons why.  
Grian had been invited to join the Hermitcraft server before, but at the start of Season 6 he had diffidently accepted. X knew when he was invited that he had a reputation for pranks, but he hadn’t expected him to be so purely chaotic. Admittedly, X hadn’t spent much time with him directly in the first few months of the new season, but what he heard from the other Hermits was that Grian was a wild, unpredictable mass of unrestrained energy. As pranks, games, and odd shops popped up around the server, a little bit of research led X straight back to Grian. With all the shenanigans he started, X was sure he had no time to actually build anything of his own. At least that’s what he thought until he saw Grian’s base for the first time.  
X had been flying in the shopping district near the Statue of Hermity, making sure everything was in place for the players to begin trading their gems for player heads, when the massive tower of white concrete and cyan terracotta came into view. He landed on a nearby island cliff to gape at the structure.  
It was a proper Hermit’s base, a monumental task to build and an even bigger task to gather the resources necessary. It was obviously unfinished, but X appreciated the clean lines and details the builder had expertly fitted in. It took him a moment to realize who the owner and builder of the base was.  
Grinning, X chastised himself for believing Grian was all play and no work. From then on, he paid more attention when Grian was in the room. As days and weeks unfolded, X watched him and began to regard him with a warm approval. Grian wasn’t just lighthearted amusement, he was true goodwill and sincere thoughtfulness. He seemed to effortlessly find the fun in every day. X admired him, though perhaps wasn’t ready to admit to himself just what these affectionate feelings he had developed implied. He found himself wishing for just a few more moments with him, and then just a few more. His conscious mind flitted around comprehending what his heart already knew as a heavy jungle sleep claimed him.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo... this is the first fic I’ve ever written. Sorry if there are any typos as I’m on mobile. I don’t know why I suddenly felt compelled to write fanfiction after many years and fandoms of happily just reading along. This story called out and begged to be written. Tell me if you like it?


End file.
